How The Family Came To Be
by ArAnCaR No. 6
Summary: DISCONTINUED
1. HowTheHECK Did This Come To Be!

**Disclaimer: I do not…unfortunately…own Naruto…Sakura would have died by now if I did…MOVING FORWARD!!!**

**Rewrote Chapter One, added more details.**

**ArAncaR No 6 ArAncaR No 6 ArAncaR No 6 ArAnCaR No 6**

The thought was always on the twelve year-old's mind…how the hell did her parents meet?! Sure, both were part of the criminal organization 'Akatsuki', but that's all anyone ever tells her!!! Yes, the Akatsuki disbanded when she and her brother were four, but that's no excuse!!! Kind of like the time their father told them of the time their mother threw salt at Hidan's eyes...she was pregnant, it was the mood swings…plus the sadistic Jashinist liked it…

Ah yes, her father, Missing Nin of Konohagakure, Uchiha Itachi. Looks almost exactly like him, both her and her brother, Daisuke. And her mother, Kosame, Yurihio Kosame…well, technically it's Uchiha…why she ponders on this she'll never know…

But!!! Today is the day!!! The ex members of the terrorist organization have the tendency to visit them a lot and today was no exception, Deidara-san would probably provoke her father into throwing a vase at him or something…she learned how to stitch wounds shut from Kakuzu-san that day…

**ArAncaR No 6 ArAncaR No 6 ArAncaR No 6 ArAnCaR No 6**

"Why, isn't it pretty little Kyoko!!! My, how charming!!!" Deidara said, sarcasm dripping in every word. Itachi headed for the vase. Quickly, fearing another wet head, the blonde threw his hands up in surrender. Upon seeing this, the ex-Konoha ninja drew away from the vase, glancing at his daughter, who currently stood at the doorway.

He was right for the most part, Kyoko was never like a normal girl her age. She sees little to no use in getting up early to do her hair, as it will get unruly later in the day, and dresses much like her brother in a shirt and shorts. But she is rather pretty, dark hair, fair skin, slim perfect figure, it's whatever other girl wants. Too bad she doesn't take advantage of it…

She frowned as Itachi moved to leave the room, "That's not funny…" Deidara merely smiled as she sat down across from him in one of the many rooms in the house. "Well child, you have to start taking advantage of your good looks!" Daisuke, who had walked by the room they were in, stood at the doorway and smirked. "What looks? I see nothing!" He quickly left, for his sister already had one of the oh-so-endorsed throwing vases in her hand. Deidara merely chuckled. "Just like your father, I swear." Placing down the porcelain ornament down, Kyoko turned to look at him. "Well you do provoke him, all this time has passed and I thought you would have already known." He offered another smile.

All of a sudden, she remembered her 'mission', quickly straightening, she smiled rather charmingly. Deidara frowned, "Okay, what do you want?" That crashed it all down!!! Ignoring it all, she went forward with the mindset.

"I was just wondering…exactly how did my Mom and Dad meet?" Silence met the room and Deidara burst out laughing. She glared at him so dead seriously that he had to shut up. It was intimidating. "Well," he started. "It's a long story…do you have to go to the bathroom? You might want to." Staring rather dumbfounded, she slowly shook her head. "Ummn..no thank you? Can you just start from as far as you know?" Deidara felt excited, because how Itachi and Kosame came to be husband and wife was pretty darn funny.

**So what do you think? If I get a good review or something, I'll Type up and post the first part soon, my CSTs are almost up. Until then!**


	2. New Member and 'Mad Mother Syndrome'

**Disclaimer: Once Again, I do not own Naruto…**

"_A new member? Are you fucking with me?!" Hidan yelled from his place in the sealing statue._

_Pein already felt a headache as Hidan's loud voice. They had just finished sealing up the 4 tails and after three annoying days of chakra depletion and listening to Deidara and Sasori fight about art, he is at the end of his patience._

"_Yes Hidan, a new member, now shut up and listen, it's a girl, and-"_

"_A GIR-ACK!!" he never finished his sentence, for Deidara threw Sasori's puppet arm at his head, effectively making the Jashinist fall face first 100 feet into the ground. Sasori stared at him, looking completely offended and without an arm._

"_Is he conscious?" Kisame asked, peering down at Hidan, who lay without moving._

_Itachi looked down from his own place, noticing how his head looked to be in the wrong direction, that and no one's arms looked that twisted._

"_Is he dead?" Zetsu asked, almost hopefully. Everyone stared in disgust. Sure, they were all S-ranked killers, but there where FREAKEN LIMITS!!!_

"_Awww!!! NASTY!!!" Deidara laughed, then stopped short, noticing how he almost fell off himself. _

"_OKAY! EVERYONE SHUT UP!!" Pein yelled. Everyone went silent, for the only other time Pein ever yelled like that was when Deidara thought it would be 'fun' to blow up their last hideout in order to 'show the meaning of true beauty'._

"_Itachi, Kisame, this girl, go to a brothel, in which she was recently sold to, and take her. It is between Suna and Konoha, in the Land of Rivers. Bring the girl unharmed, understood?"_

_Itachi gave a curt nod, showing he understood._

"What the hell, my Mom was sold off?!" Kyoko said in disbelief, throwing her arms in the air, throwing off a vase in the process. The crash was rather loud, and both stared at the broken porcelain, then at each other in mild horror.

"Holy Hell!"

"Kyoko, what was that?" Kosame's voice was clear and showed hints of what both her and Daisuke called 'Mad Mother Syndrome'.

"Nothing!" she quickly yelled, panicking a bit before she and Deidara ran out of the room, neither wanting to be a victim.

20 minutes later…

"Okay…" Kyoko breathed out, leaning against a nearby tree in the safety of the outdoors "Continue, so my Dad recruited her, then what happened?" Deidara smirked, "Can't go that far yet, it was what happened on their way to the hideout that was funny."

Ah yes, blackmail, how sweet the sound…

**Finished My CSTs Today, more coming soon…**


	3. Rain Rain, Go Away

**Because of a certain someone's nice review (You know who you are!!!) I'm posting the next Chapter. For those who think "The Hell!!! This Isn't Funny!!!" Well, SCREW YOU TOO!!!...that and it's getting there!!!**

**ArAnCaR No 6 ArAnCaR No 6 ArAnCaR No 6 ArAnCaR No 6**

"Okay Kyoko, this here I heard second-hand from Kisame, since he's the one who went…" Deidara started.

The girl merely nodded, her dark hair gathered into a high ponytail swaying as she did.

**ArAnCaR No 6 ArAnCaR No 6 ArAnCaR No 6 ArAnCaR No 6**

"_My GOD!!! This rain won't let up!" Kisame abruptly shouted, dramatically throwing his arms in the air, hitting Itachi hard in the process. Both were on their way to the brothel specified to them by Pein, and apparently, rain decided to very literally 'rain on their parade'._

_The Uchiha glared at him, a hand at the part of his head that suffered the impact._

"_Sorry!!" The ex Mist-nin quickly said. _

"_Whatever, just hurry up."_

_Kisame tried, God knows he did. But it was difficult to keep up with Itachi's long and swift strides, considering the fact that the ground was muddy. He found himself almost to the point of running, since Itachi has the tendency to walk quickly when he's angry. _

_After 5 minutes, Kisame was close to regaining his previous position at his partner's left. Quickly, and as silent as possible, he jogged up to him. Unfortunately, the ground decided to go against him. He abruptly slipped, and caught onto what was the closest thing to him._

_The Mist-nin landed hard on the ground, staying still for a few seconds until he glanced at his right fist, which was oddly holding black fabric._

"_Hmmm…it looks like the Akat-"he stopped short, realizing what it was. _

"_That…hurt…idiot…" Itachi painfully said, rolling onto his stomach, turning his head to look at Kisame's horrified expression and the collar or his Akatsuki cloak in his hand. _

**ArAnCaR No 6 ArAnCaR No 6 ArAnCaR No 6 ArAnCaR No 6**

"So he caught on to my Dad?" Kyoko asked, not really believing it.

Deidara nodded from their new positions in the sturdy tree branches.

"It's a miracle he's not dead!" he said, choking a bit at the thought.

"Hey!!! It wasn't MY fault!" a voice from the ground said.

Kyoko looked down, seeing the blue ex Mist-nin that once was her father's partner in the criminal organization looking up at them, apparently not happy.

"Kisame-san! " she called out, almost happily, letting her weight topple off the branch in order to land properly on the ground, a smile on her face. Then again, she was getting her answers…

Kisame placed one hand on the girl's head, messily ruffling the raven colored bangs, knowing that she doesn't mind it one bit. Turning to look rather distraught at Deidara, he shook his head a little.

"Okay! You're messing it up! It was an _accident, _I didn't mean to drag Itachi-san with me that time! It's not like the rain was my idea!"

"So you admit it!" Deidara hollered, pointing an accusing finger while striking a pose at Kisame, who looked very offended.

In order to avoid getting off track, Kyoko quickly waved her hands in their faces.

"Don't get off topic!" she quickly said. "So what, happened next?" she said, looking a bit expectantly at Kisame.

Putting a finger to his mouth, Kisame pretended to look thoughtful, since the girl is hilarious when she's made to wait. Very Sasori-like.

"HURRY UP!!!" she yelled, very abrupt in the otherwise peaceful environment.

"Okay! Okay!" he said, not wanting to anger her, since she reacts the same way Itachi does. "After I uh…tripped, we made it to this one place that your Mom was sold off…and…let's just say your Dad was given some...'freebies'."

_**Well…This is it for now…I'm going to gather my thoughts for the next Chapter and post in less than a week for sure!!!**_


	4. KARATAY!

_**Sorry for those who do read this, I am really busy these days, and it's exhausting.**_

_**Enjoy! :**_

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_Both members of the Akatsuki made it rather safely to the Land of Rivers. Itachi was still fuming from the fact that Kisame dragged him down along when he tripped, while Kisame himself was keeping his distance from the Uchiha. After only two years of having to go everywhere with him, the blue man knew exactly when to stay away, such as now._

_He cursed inwardly for having done something so stupid, and hoped that Itachi's temper didn't last long._

_All at once, while walking through the damp streets, he noticed a sign on a building. It was the building in which their new member was housed in. The Takuyaki Brothel, A.K.A, Whorehouse. Kisame opened his mouth, as to tell Itachi they just passed their destination, but instantly closed it, fearing slightly. Knowing he HAD to tell him __something__, the Akatsuki member very cautiously approached him from behind, tapping his shoulder, and instantly retreating backwards into a karate stance as the Uchiha turned around. Itachi stared, a very clear 'WTF?' look in his face. Kisame pointed at the brothel rather childishly. _

"_It's right here, Itachi-san."_

_Itachi's gaze drifted over to the brick building and he seemed to recognize it so._

"_Fine, let's go Karate kid." _

_Kisame frowned, and opened his mouth to retort, but soon realized he was still in a stance, his arms held up over his head and one leg up in the air. _

'_Huh…' he thought curiously. 'Why can't I-' "GAHHH!!!" he abruptly yelled, disrupting his thought as he fell over. He looked up from his odd position on the floor, to see Itachi still giving him the 'WTF' look. _

_xXxXxXxXx_

_**Sorry that it's so short. I'm saving the funny stuff for the next chapter, that will be called "Mystery Package", featuring a almost gagging Itachi!**_


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